Extracts from….
________________________________
Diary
of a Change Agent
By Tony
Page
© Copyright Page
Consulting 1995
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Foreword by Barry Curnow, President, Institute of Management
Consultants.
This is a
courageous and timely volume which makes absorbing reading and will challenge
every consultant and client ….
________________________________
Foreword by Gareth Rees, Chief Executive, Kinsley Lord.
I take great pride
in telling people that I work with colleagues at Kinsley Lord - pride not just
because of our reputation in helping clients learn and manage change
successfully, but pride because we believe that we too are a learning
organisation. And we are. Yet I feel humbled and astonished at the pace with
which one man - through his work with clients, collaborators, mentors and
family - has grown. Grown as a whole and balanced man; grown in his
understanding of individuals and organisations; grown in the power he offers
through his thoughtful interventions.
This book will
help anyone seeking to learn and grow. But particularly
managers, leaders, consultants and other influencers of change. It
requires only that you be open enough to try it...
________________________________
Part
1 Introduction
________________________________
Why
read this book?
________________________________
I am Tony Page. I am a management
consultant. I am 40.
Although
this is the start of a book, it feels as if I am beginning at the end, like a
round the world yachtsman who has just completed a harrowing three year
adventure. This book is my account of the adventure…..
Creating value
through other people
I wrote a diary originally for
myself, to help me gain perspective on life. Then I realised that what was written
could be of interest and value to others and I wrote it up as a book. At first
it was "a book by a consultant for other consultants" but in this
final draft I recognise the wider appeal to all managers, directors, chief
executives, service providers, clients and leaders of change. So this book is
not only for consultants, it is also for many of you who do not call yourselves
consultants but have something important in common with consultants, that is,
you do your business with and through other people. Your business success
depends on creating value through a human interface….
….
the move from fad to fad challenges our complacency and allows us to pick up
new ideas but something more is needed to achieve a real sustainable change or
improvement to our results. It is as if we keep missing the point. It is as if
the information and advice never really touches us deeply. We think we have got
it but we haven't. We separate ourselves from it by a glass wall. We do not
know how to take it in. We do not know how to "walk the talk". We do
not know how to learn.
A blockage to
learning and competitive performance
A quotation given by a speaker at a
recent conference expressed this learning problem with chilling clarity:
We are going
to win and the industrial West is going to lose; there is not much you can do
about it because the reasons for your failure are within yourselves.......We
are beyond your mind set. Business..... is now so
complex and difficult....continued existence depends on the day to day
mobilisation of every ounce of intelligence.
Konosuke
Matsushita, Founder, Matsushita Electric
I
agree that there is plenty we are getting wrong in business. … it is still considered in many business circles
"soft" to recognise that, beyond the shareholder, there are other
"stakeholders" such as employees, suppliers and customers with
honourable and probably longer term interests in the success of a business.
There is a fearful and desperate clinging on to old methods that do not work.
There are leadership mistakes … we can see frustration, pretended commitment,
dependency, lack of trust, lip service and layer upon layer of denial and
resistance.
Overcoming the
Matsushita curse
But I do not subscribe to the idea
that Westerners will never get it. Why? I sense a hunger for a reliable,
logical means of overcoming the learning block that Matsushita has highlighted.
Also, I sense that, after many disappointing change initiatives in business, we
are starting to realise where to look for a solution.
'Our
individual context is our hidden strategy for dealing with life. It determines
all the choices we make.' Goss, Pascale
and Athos, Harvard Business Review.
We
are finally realising what is central to creating change, to learning, to generating
value together and therefore to business performance. We are realising we need
individuals to take responsibility, to see what is real and what is possible,
then honestly to pursue value in cooperation with others. A winning
organisation supports individuals working together to create value for all the
stakeholders. A successful business formula today is much more about trust than
about control.
Bringing
this knowledge into use by the individual is still the challenge. Old habits
are deeply ingrained. The glass wall between knowing and doing is still in
place. Beyond that is another glass wall between doing and being or believing.
For an organisation to force or prescribe that individuals must change, learn
or "behave as if" is counterproductive. It is more top down control.
It leads to more denial, more resistance, more dishonesty, more
pretended commitment.
A personal
re-engineering method
This book is quite simply giving
you and other individuals a means to bring any new knowledge into use. ..
This
book gives you an example of a journey of transformation in the form of
extracts from three years of my diary. Some readers may choose to take this in
passively, sort of gazing across at someone else's life, like watching a TV
documentary. I am hoping you will get something much more than this: an
opportunity to reflect and learn. As you read, issues and feelings may come up
inside you. The active learning opportunity is to face squarely and address
these issues.
The reflective
challenge
Many of us enjoy activity. We lead
busy lives. We operate under pressure. We fight to win. But our activist
tendency inhibits our reflective learning and locks us into a repeating
present. This is the Matsushita curse. The book challenges you to prove
Matsushita wrong, to wake up and mobilise every ounce of your intelligence. By
doing this you can gain specific payoffs both at the business and at the
personal level and you can find new ways to create value at the human
interface.
The
book shows you a logical method for personal transformation,
that is also the key to corporate transformation. It is a method for
continuous personal learning. It is the personal competitive advantage needed
for your survival in the turbulent business environment.
Why
the book was written
________________________________
Trapped in an
activist pattern
At the start of 1993, I felt I was
racing through life, like driving in the outside lane of a motorway at 90 mph,
the scenery was flashing past. I had very little sense of control and a rather
low awareness of what I was leaving behind me.
Five
years earlier I had resigned from PA Consulting Group, choosing to have a
personal life rather than allowing an exciting career to dominate. Since then I
had worked as an independent consultant coping with the swings of fortune from
feast to famine and back again. Initially I had struggled, then in partnership
with a market research company built the business up to four consultants and
two assistants. I tried continually to get the interpersonal dynamics right and
build an effective team but I kept coming up against my personal tendency to
perfectionism, over-controlling others and a difficulty with trusting. Early in
1992, frustrated at our lack of progress and frightened by the rising overhead costs,
I lost faith, gave the others notice and cut right back to me and a part-time
secretary. There were a couple of long-term clients but no firm business and I
had no idea of what the future held. I was married with a young family. My
wife, Helen, also a management consultant, was dividing her time between
working at Shell, her parental role and unpaid work (PTA, school governor etc).
Looking
back on this time I can see that life was pressurised and we were trapped in an
activist pattern. There was evidence of hidden conflict beneath my controlled,
professional exterior, occasionally breaking through the surface such as when I
left PA and when I lost faith and cut back the team. At the time it felt mostly
OK, sort of normal.
Moving towards
authenticity
A little later on, in the summer of
1992, I was reading
In
writing this I recognised a risk: I was highlighting a gap that still existed
between my thinking and my doing. In other words, I was not yet "walking
the talk". But I suppose I thought that by stating this standard publicly,
I would find it easier to become authentic in my professional life. Following
publication there were a few kind words from colleagues, there was at least one
puzzled client but otherwise not much reaction. My problem then was that I did
not know if I was being authentic or not, and my intuition said I was not: my
non-authentic habits were deeply ingrained.
All
the time as a consultant, I have felt a strong motivation to discover a theme
that can add strength to my consulting work, ensuring survival, continuing
viability and sustainability. I wanted to understand why clients engaged me,
what the longer term results of our work together really were and how best to
create value with and for the client. After the "authenticity"
insight I felt I was moving slowly in this direction but not fast enough. The
business still felt fragile although the fee income was OK. I was finding
things confusing and this is why I started to keep a diary.
Starting the diary
I started making daily entries on
my laptop in January 1993. Soon I found myself recording quite remarkable
events that might previously have passed in the background almost below
consciousness. The diary quite quickly began to give me a greater sense of
control and confidence. I suppose this was why I kept it going. From time to
time I would look back at earlier entries and notice themes or patterns in my
behaviour. I also started to notice moods. I noticed how a mood of optimism or
pessimism could colour everything and how long the mood would endure. I found
that once I expressed worries and concerns in the diary, I often became free of
them. Those that persisted I could sort of interrogate, get to the bottom of
and then find some positive actions or intentions that would propel me forward,
out of my previous sense of "stuckness". I
noticed how there is a spill-over from home life into work and vice versa.
Self-deception
was pointless and I adopted a stance of self-criticism and a brutal honesty. I
also tried to give expression to positive feelings and higher intentions. I
discovered that emotional honesty, the step beyond intellectual honesty, was
something to strive for.
Nourished by many
conversations
As I write this I'm aware that the
diary activity sounds lonely and isolated. I actually found it a brief and
pleasant interlude in a busy and gregarious life. My dialogue with the diary
helped me to take in and transform many pressures and problems that life throws
up, instead of ignoring them. It also added a positive stimulus and productive
direction to life. Through the diary based learning, I felt less fixed in my
viewpoint, freed from some of my prejudices and able to see reality more
clearly with all its inherent complexity and contradictions. It was like a
heightened awareness.
As
a consultant and as a "thinker", the diary was not the only thing
that nourished my practice and my learning. Each day in the process of chasing
business, doing work and in living my home life, I was engaged in a whole
series of conversations. Being married to a management consultant brings with
it a diverse range of conversation topics from the corporate (eg. what do we think about business process re-engineering,
total quality management, ISO 9000, downsizing, etc) to the more personal (eg. what do we think about family, friends, relationships,
stress, divorce, medicine, alcoholism, obesity, health, illness, death, ethics
etc). The diary was a "conversation with myself"
that was nourished by many "conversations with others" both at home
and at work.
The helicopter view
How does the method work? I don't
know exactly. The diary encourages a rich interaction between one's internal
and external worlds, between what is subjective and objective, between personal
and work life, between feelings and facts. It registers uncomfortable feelings
and turns them into positive learning. It reminds me of my values. It
challenges assumptions I am making. It puts me in touch with my feelings and
the emotional undercurrent to life but at the same time, paradoxically, it
fosters an emotional detachment so that instead of being locked within
problems, one can see oneself and the problems from the outside. The diary
reduces my tendency to deny or ignore what is occurring. It helps me see
reality more clearly. This is sometimes called gaining the "helicopter
view".
Awareness
of a pattern or a problem often seems to be enough, change occurring
spontaneously and unconsciously following the moment of awareness. This is
supported by many experts in this field including for example Timothy Gallwey in The Inner Game method. The diary method's power
arises perhaps from the way that it deepens and extends awareness, thus
accelerating personal change.
By
the end of 1994, the diary contained some very interesting stuff that I
realised could be of interest to a wider audience. There was a theme running
through it about "value", that is, how I as a consultant could create
the highest possible value with my clients, what was blocking me from creating
greater value and what I was learning about consultancy.
With
so many people operating as consultants today, it is clear that there is much
more to it than getting the business cards printed and rushing in to offer your
expertise. The factor X that distinguishes really effective consulting from the
disappointing and ineffective, is not in many cases "technical
expertise". Factor X is to do with the client-consultant relationship and
the consultant's knowing where and how they actually create the most value.
Towards
publication
Early in 1995 I met a publisher by
chance and began talking about writing a diary-style book that reveals what
consultancy is all about. The "value" theme formed the title for this
book.
I
felt uncomfortable at first about how much of my life and other people's lives
to include. So I came up with a few decision rules including:
• keep it real, specific and detailed
• no sex
(sorry!)
• seek not to harm or embarrass anyone
• change the names of our children but
include them as characters
• where possible
gain permissions from others referred to but otherwise disguise the context so
that people are unrecognisable.
Once
I had written an early draft, I gave it to Helen, my wife to read and comment
on. I made some changes and passed the next draft on to several other people to
read both people (clients and colleagues) who feature in the diary and others
who are not involved. I made a couple of mistakes upsetting one person and
generating a solicitor's letter from another! I also gained heaps of feedback
which, apart from helping me to shorten, simplify and clarify the book, also
strengthened my conviction about the value and the power of the diary method.
Most
interesting of all from the feedback was the comment that there is a bigger,
overarching theme in the diary beyond "value". I was told that over
the period covered by the diary entries, I have been undergoing a personal
transition. At the start of the diary I was apparently task driven and by the
end I had the task and the client relationship in balance. In the words of this
client:
This
diary is the story of a guy who was aloof, over analytical and rather tuned out
of relationships. This was what his clients and the situation required of him
and he succumbed to it. This diary is about your waking up to life, to
relationships and their inherent unpredictability.
As a result of this feedback, I
have extended the original idea for the book and I offer it now as an example
of "personal transformation". What in effect happened was that the
search for value (first theme) supported by the diary method produced a
personal transformation (second theme).
The
diary material presented in part 2 has been regrouped and edited down into the
five broad phases in the personal transition that I experienced. For each phase
there is a reflection or summary of learning. The material in part 3 serves as
a "reflection on reflections" building up the themes of value,
transformation, learning and performance.
How
to use this book
________________________________
What you can
expect to get
I expect that by reading this book
you will gain a new yardstick against which to evaluate your business
relationships, some new ideas about generating value, some further ideas about
transformation and learning.
Those
people who have already read the book experienced a range of reactions from the
positive:
I
enjoyed reading it.
It
excites me. It is very courageous.
The
book helps make clear what consulting is all about. It is original, a breath of
fresh air for people who are bored with conventional texts.
Once
I got past the first bit I could not put it down.
I
really liked it. It is a tour de force, rich and profound. It is a consultant’s
book, a really rich fruit cake.
I
personally would be extremely proud of authoring such a readable and
intelligent book.
I
liked that you brought in the family and personal experiences
I
have the feeling that it is very significant. I found it both intellectually
stimulating and emotionally moving at the same time. I feel excited about the possibilities
it raises both at work and play.
As a
result of reading this it is clearer to me where I am and am not adding value
with my clients.
…to the concerned, dissatisfied,
bemused or confused:
the
warts and all nature of this raised my concerns. I did not like some of the
warts
the
opening up forces the reader to confront their own illusions, projections,
fallacies and prejudices about consultants and consultancy
people
can only stomach so much reality
I have
a slight feeling of snooping, that I should not be reading about your life
the
essence of consultancy is not necessarily something the client wants to be
pointed out
when
I got to the bits about your home life my mood changed from an objective and
work related mood to sympathy. It would be better if you left these bits out.
we
know there is a benefit in speaking the truth but in the goldfish bowl of the
public domain be careful, sensitive wording is important... but then there is
the risk of losing the edge of authenticity
you
lack humility. You are putting yourself at the centre of the universe.
the
degree of honesty and openness could work against you: it does not always
present you in the best possible light
clients
want to believe in your competence. This could dent your image. Clients don't
want to know the truth about you and your personal life, until they get to know
you better
some
of the commentaries are false in their clarity - just like consultancy itself
is. Consultancy promises you can plan and deliver something out there in the
future, independently of the changing environment/context. You can't.
Possible
reactions, feelings and projections
It is clear that the book can stir
different reactions in different readers. As a writer I cannot take
responsibility for the feelings and reactions you might have as a reader. For
any feeling that comes up, I would ask you: "where is the feeling?",
"is the feeling in the book, or is it in you?" Reading this material
can be a little like looking in the mirror. The meanings that emerge from the
text for you are a result of your interpretations. A whole range of projections
and prejudices might come up but if you use the exercises and work with what
comes up, the material can help reveal your assumptions, your contradictions
and your values. This can be a rich source of learning for you.
As
you read it, you might feel you are being challenged to bring more of yourself
into business and to expect others to do the same. This thinking runs counter
to many business cultures and you might find it uncomfortable. If you do, then
I hope that you are able to transform the discomfort into some kind of positive
learning.
Ways of reading it
So far people have taken quite
different approaches to reading it, for example:
I
kept a pad beside me all the time, I was looking for
nuggets and noting them down
I
keep it on the car seat and read it in between client meetings
I
read it thoroughly. I found myself sitting up in bed reading it until 12.30 at
night.
I
read as much of it as I could, I'm a slow reader
I
just read the bits that relate to me
I
started dipping in but now I want to read it again from front to back
each
section I read makes me think about something I am experiencing in my business
life
things
sort of emerge from it. I want to start it again, then
I'll notice different things.
The diary section in part 2 is
structured into:
• daily entries
• frequent
first level commentaries on entries with a focus on the "value" theme
• second level commentaries
at the end of the five phases, with a focus on the "transformation"
theme
• an exercise
at the end of each of phase to encourage active reader participation.
I
invite you as a reader to remember the Matsushita curse, not to be seduced into
passive voyeuristic mode but to treat reading this as a learning opportunity
by:
• being self-reflective and active in
your use of book
• using a notepad to record your
feelings and reactions as you read
• "owning" and exploring your
reactions not, projecting these onto book or the writer
• using the exercises and questions to
develop your helicopter view
• reading the section in part 3 on
learning to support your own future reflective learning.
I wish
you an enjoyable, challenging and worthwhile read!