Facilitation Skills Workshop
__________________________________
-----Original
Message-----
From: Richard F Cooke [mailto:wholean@onetel.net.uk]
Sent:
To: NI
Subject: NI - Facilitation workshop --- thoughts, refelctions
and outcomes
I thought it
might be interesting for those who couldn’t join us yesterday at the workshop
to share some personal take-aways.
First of all
a big “Thank you” to Nick and Jo who helped organise and run it.
It partially
arose from the Troublemakers workshop which David & Fiona ran last year and
the debate about the need for structure.. or not. A lot of
thought went into the structure for the day, in the belief that this would be
enabling and helpful. Within moments of
starting, we were embroiled, for real in this issue.
The idea was
that the day would allow everyone who wanted to a real opportunity to do some
real facilitation, and get the feed-back of their peers. We didn’t know how it would pan out, or
really how to make it real… but it certainly was!! I think that the most difficult thing for me
as a facilitator is dealing with strong emotion and dissent, and you can
neither plan for that nor fake it. By
the gift of the gods they turned up for real, and I certainly learned something
about it.
There was a
strong challenge to the format very early on and that polarised people into
either supporters of one view or the other, or stunned
spectators. I won’t claim neutrality in
this, but I certainly was sitting there just wanting it to go away. And here is where the brave thing happened,
the two protagonists were prepared to admitted to an own their feelings and
talk about them. They didn’t go away
immediately but the group moved on, helped by some beautifully gentle
intervention by Yvana. The day moved apparently went from one
chapter to the next, with apparently no grad design, and yet each piece of work
magically began where the last one finished.
The group
and workshop ended up in a wonderful place, and my
thanks to everyone for their parts in the day.
My personal learnings are:-
·
You do have
to call it as you see it, name what is going on and address dissent
·
The
structure and planning enabled the magic to emerge, and for me, in no way
stifled it
·
They key
requirements for a good facilitation is for the Facilitator to ‘turn up’ and be
seen, to be really real and vulnerable ( key words in our group were “Be open”,
“Vulnerable” “Be yourself” “Love self and others” “Innocence”)
·
Our job
seems to be about enabling our clients to be more truly themselves, to bring
out the best in themselves and offer to others, and in order for that to happen
we have to do it first and make it safe… even when it feels really
dangerous. We have to give what we want
them to get
·
And finally,
it isn’t about techniques and knowledge, (though there were
some brilliant one on view yesterday), but about Being….
No doubt
there will be other perspectives coming forward. I’d love to do it all again!
Regards,
Richard F Cooke
-----Original Message-----
From: tonypage [mailto:tony@pageconsulting.co.uk]
Sent:
To: newintermediaries@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: NI - Facilitation workshop --- thoughts, refelctions and outcomes
Thanks for this Richard. I also found the day VERY interesting, stimulating, inspiring... filling me up with energy and renewed confidence.
I was in the other small group and so find mysefl intrgued by "the beautifully gentle intervention by Yvana" that you refer to. I've asked Yvana about it off line.
The structure-emergent issue seemed to reach something potent in alot of us - close to core perhaps of how we define ourselves, our work, our being...and perhaps like me you notice this is one we seem fated to keep tripping over in our work.
I'd be interested to capture what you said here and also reflections from others in an account of the day for NI News on the website.
Anyone else want to share reflections on what they got from yesterday's workshop?
Tony
-----Original
Message-----
From: Richard F Cooke [mailto:wholean@onetel.net.uk]
Sent:
To: NI
Subject: NI - Outputs form small group in facilitation workshop
In the small
groups with Roddy,
I attach a
list of the adjectives that we came up with.
Those underlined and embolden are the ones people felt were key. I found this particularly interesting. This list was inspired by a guided meditation
experience.
I hope that
everyone (including those who weren’t there)can find
some interest & value in it
Regards,
Richard F Cooke
Outputs from Richard’s session:
· Quizzical
· Calm
· Open
· Willing to learn
· Authoritative
o Inner knowing
o Sense of purpose
· Clear boundaries
· Takes responsibility
·
Humility
·
Acknowledge what is
·
Authentic
o Be where you are
· Experienced and capable
· Appreciative
· Empowering
· Alert & aware
· Create pace for the individual
·
Spiritually aware
· Available
· Ordinary
· Humour
o Positive use of
·
Innocence
· Natural
·
Willing to connect
· Unpredictable
· The ability to inspire love
· (Lead by) Example
· Deeply know oneself
· Attend to peoples’ physical needs
· Vitality
·
Beauty
· Water
-----Original Message-----
From: Julia Williams [mailto:julia@personalimpact.com]
Sent:
To: newintermediaries@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: NI - Facilitation workshop --- thoughts, reflections and
outcomes
Richard Tony and Yvana
Just the briefest comment. I heard and felt the "the beautifully gentle intervention' by Yvana and felt envious of the courage she had to step in to offer something. I don't know what to do in conflicts which arise where time is the issue. I just feel horribly stressed and want to give up and walk away from all of it because my mind can't hold the complexity of all the options. I have watched Yvana do this before, so even though we decided to follow the day according to the 'plan' it was great to know that all other possibilities had been aired and exhausted. It takes great skill and sensitivity to do this as well as she does.
Julia
Julia Williams
Mime Artiste and
Communications Coach
for Personal Impact
www.personalimpact.com
Tel +44 (0)20 8451 7696
-----Original Message-----
From: Yvana Reeves
[mailto:yr@reeves-consult.demon.co.uk]
Sent:
To: newintermediaries@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: NI - Facilitation workshop --- thoughts, reflections and
outcomes
Dear Julia & Tony
Beginning to wonder about my 'intervention' and having checked with Richard about his original comment am pleased to be able to clarify that I was the first facilitator 'on' in our small group, having put forward a suggested process that honours people's thinking and enables difference to thrive. It has its roots in co-counselling, as does Nancy Klein's work and works well using her guidelines for generating 'thinking environments' . I attach the process which I love and always seems to 'work' (Thinking Rounds document)
It seemed to contribute the kind of 'settling down' needed at the time to help get people connected to the event. What I did change in the moment was the topic. I felt the topic was where my energy lay and was something I thought everyone would do differently but have an opinion on ie 'What makes a successful client-consultant relationship' - success in this sense meant helping to achieve a positive outcome for the client.
What was unexpected to me was the spiritual or higher purpose connection that was introduced on the topic in the 'Thinking Round' - a sense that when any two people come together there is always a potential for awareness of a higher purpose - maybe this theme helped connect us at a deeper level as it came 'into the field' of our discussion and made us more aware of what connected us rather than what disconnected us - if so it was co-created - not to be self effacing about my facilitation but to honour the complexity and joy of what happens when people think well together.
Yvana
-----Original
Message-----
From: Nick Heap [mailto:nick.heap@ntlworld.com]
Sent:
To: Richard F Cooke; Fiona Coffey; Alice Mallorie;
Yvana Reeves
Cc: Jo McHale; Tony Page
Subject: Reflections on facilitating skills workshop
Dear
All,
I
hope these thoughts are helpful and interesting to you as well as useful to
help me clarify my own thinking. First, though I would like to thank Richard
and Jo and everyone who came to the event for creating, for me, a most
interesting and rewarding day. These notes are my views about what happened and
what I learned. They are "my truth" not "the truth".
I am trying to be descriptive.
What
happened, as I saw it?
There
seemed to be several layers of meaning in what happened. At the organisational
or philosophical level, Fiona and I perhaps started off at the opposite poles
of a continuum, that clearly exists in NI as a whole, from "help
what will emerge, emerge" to "make a plan so everyone can get what
they want, and stick to it". You could call these
"freedom" and "structure". I was wondering what idea
transcends these and thought that "relationship" perhaps did. For
example, a good family has a structure to provide continuity and safety
and individuals in it have the freedom to grow and develop. The high quality
relationships between the members allow both to happen and
also develop.
After
a period of turbulence and confusion we did work in the group and pairs to build relationships based on mutual
understanding and this led eventually to the climate we all celebrated at
the end of the workshop.
I
was stirred up and confused at the start. My personal history got in the way of
thinking very clearly. I often feel over-responsible. It probably goes back to
being a war baby with a father away and a very anxious mother. This is a bit
silly as it was a long time ago! I have also been let down badly and betrayed
by people I trusted. This makes sticking to agreements very important to
me. When Fiona questioned the basis of the contract for the workshop, that I
thought I had set out very clearly and asked everyone to sign up to before it
started, I felt sad, confused and angry. This was an over-reaction. We had a
bit of a fight . At one time or another each
of us considered leaving the workshop.
Fiona
said later that my asking people to have a label and "organising"
people reminded her of school. So I expect what I did stirred
up painful memories in her also. In re-evaluation counselling theory,
this stirring up of painful feelings is called "restimulation".
It is hard to think when experiencing it. Conflict tends to be restimulating for most people as it is rarely handled well
so I can feel powerless and confused when observing it as well as when I
am directly involved. So can other people.
We
did agree to run the first session and Yvana did
thinking rounds with us. This got all of us to listen carefully to each other
and was most gentle and constructive. The topic was about effective client
consultant relationships and sharing thoughts about this probably helped too. I
knew our conflict was still there, if lessened, and would get in the
way of the work in the group and perhaps the whole workshop if we did not deal
with it.
I
asked Fiona if she would be willing for each of us
to "put the other person's case" and check that we had
understood it as many conflicts are based on misunderstandings. Graciously, she
agreed and we took a few minutes in the group to do so. As I recall, we did not
have significant misunderstandings but the time we spent allowed us both to
understand each other's position more fully. It reduced the temperature too.
Interestingly, this was the one piece of facilitation we did not review.
The
next session with
The
next round was mine to facilitate and I did a mini-appreciative enquiry about
leadership. We created a list of positive questions about aspects of our
leadership experience and then interviewed each other. I worked with Fiona and
we had a good session that built more mutual understanding and respect, I
believe. We both felt a "frisson" as though this work and our
encounter had some larger meaning that we did not fully understand.
The
last session in the small group was Richard's using guided meditation to
identify the qualities of the ideal facilitator. You will have seen the
results. Perhaps through our struggles, we had established some deep heart
connections in the group and were able to produce some magical stuff.
You
know what happened in the last large group exercise, that Fiona led, and
the plans we all made together to take the interest in Hellinger's
work further.
What
I learned?
Honest
conflict can be disturbing but enabling too, when everyone deals with it
constructively.
It
is easy to leave out vital pieces of a process, for instance time for people to
meet before they start work, when you are under time pressure. This can be real
or imaginary and it is what many of our clients experience all the time.
Groups
have a life of their own. You can't plan what will happen
but have to respond to what happens on the day. I think all of us
modified our offering to see how we could facilitate not only the individual
session but also the life of the group.
The
important skills of a facilitator are to be present, to listen and to help
others listen and to respond to what happens.
There
are methods like guided meditation that I know about and could use more often.
Tuning in the offering to the life of the group is important though.
I
am more effective when I play more and don't try too hard, have a bit more fun,
take more risks.
Being
a facilitator is mostly about being human and less about techniques.
What
have I done differently since?
I
offered a date to a client for any time in March between 15 and 31 except the
11th! He responded quizzically. I, unusually, ( much
more light-hearted than usual) replied with a French joke!
What
is the difference between a tyre and a rabbit?
(scroll down)
They
are both made of rubber, apart from the rabbit!"
Apparently
his French colleague doubled over with laughter!
I
also have some thoughts on what we might do next. The more practical
one is that perhaps our group could meet again and maybe we could have a day on
"Adventurous Facilitation". This might give everyone the
opportunity to try something out that is personally stretching, if she/he
wants. We could reduce the costs and admin. by meeting
at my house, if you like.
The
slightly wacky one, that someone could try, would be to have another day on
facilitating skills but use the other end of the design continuum. The process
would emerge by us all using our facilitating skills together. I wonder what
would happen and what we would learn?
What
do you think?
Much love,
Nick
01707
886553 and mailto:nick.heap@ntlworld.com
Web site http://homepage.ntlworld.com/nick.heap